If someone in your family or friends is struggling with porn addiction, they need your help.
Why? Because once a person is addicted to pornography, they form behavioral patterns in which they view porn, feel ashamed, promise themselves not to do it again, and then relapse a few days later.
And these aren’t isolated cases.
According to research, 70% of men under the age of 34 watch internet pornography regularly.
But most porn addicts sincerely want to quit this habit but are either too embarrassed to talk about it or feel insecure to seek help.
This is where you come in.
In this article, I’ll tell you ways you can help people with porn addiction (especially Muslims) overcome their bad habit, reinvent themselves, and live healthier and more productive lives.
These tips are based on my personal experiences of helping people with porn addiction. As a student of knowledge and a servant of scholars, I often get to meet people who struggle with pornography addiction and want to heal.
So this is what I tell them.
Alhamdulillah, countless people have benefited from these methods.
So, please share this article with your friends and family as well because everyone needs help these days.
13 Tips To Help Porn Addicts Heal And Overcome Temptations
You must treat porn addiction as a disease and help addicts without judging their character and relationship with Allah SWT.
Here are a few ways you can help someone addicted to pornography.
Tip #1: Show Them You Understand Their Struggle And Care
The first step to helping someone with porn addiction is to show them that you seriously care about them, understand their struggle, and know they want to quit this habit.
Tell them they’re not alone in this, and many people struggle with pornography. But they’re brave enough to accept their shortcoming and seek help, which is the first step to recovery.
It is important to remember that porn addicts, Muslims in particular, live two different lives – one which is visible to the world and the other where they watch internet porn in the dark corners of their houses, offices, and other secluded places.
Most Muslim men feel ashamed of this dual behavior.
So, no need to embarrass them anymore.
Instead, tell them that it’s great they understand the dangers of this addiction and reassure them that they can overcome it through determination and willpower.
Tip #2: Make Sincere Tauba And Seek Allah’s Help
As Muslims, we can never achieve anything without seeking Allah’s help. So, when someone struggling with porn addiction seeks your help, tell them to start by making tauba (repentance) and asking Allah SWT to help them recover by offering Salatul Hajat every day.
Also, make a habit of reading astaghfar. If you have the financial resources, take out time to perform Umrah so that you can repent in the spiritual surroundings of the Kaaba.
But if that’s not possible, don’t worry. Allah SWT is everywhere and listens to our prayers and duas.
In particular, recite the Duas for protection against Zina and porn addiction that scholars have extracted from Quran and Hadith.
Most Muslim porn addicts cry and weep in Dua, seeking Allah’s help but fall prey to their addiction again.
But don’t lose hope.
Allah SWT is all forgiving and knows that He has created us as weak beings. We easily fall for our temptations and commit sins that we know are wrong.
In Surah Baqrah of the Holy Quran, Allah SWT says
اِنَّ اللّٰهَ يُحِبُّ التَّوَّابِيْنَ
Indeed, Allah loves those who frequently repent
Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said in a Hadith:
«كلُّ بني آدم خَطَّاءٌ، وخيرُ الخَطَّائِينَ التوابون»
“Indeed, all the children of Adam sin, and the best sinners are those who repent”
So, tell them to start by seeking Allah’s help and don’t lose hope even if you recommit this sin (of course, they should try not to, but it happens).
Keep trying.
Tip #3: Encourage Them To Pray Regularly In Masjid
Allah SWT says in the Holy Quran
إِنَّ الصَّلَاةَ تَنْهَىٰ عَنِ الْفَحْشَاءِ وَالْمُنكَرِ
Indeed, Namaz stops one from immorality and sin
Regularly offering Namaz in a masjid is the perfect remedy for overcoming porn addiction as a Muslim.
Why? Because offering Namaz requires you to be clean from all impurities and make Wudu. So, when you’re regular in prayer, you’re more likely to stay away from anything that breaks your Wudu.
Plus, offering Namaz in a mosque, especially the Fajr prayers, is a spiritually uplifting experience. It not only gives you inner satisfaction but also helps you connect with Allah SWT.
So, if someone seeks your help to overcome porn addiction, encourage them to be regular in prayers.
They might still watch porn, but offering Namaz regularly will certainly become one more barrier in their path to immorality.
Tip #4: Attend Lectures Of Pious Scholars
One of the best ways to overcome porn addiction and become spiritually stronger is by sitting in the company of pious scholars.
Allah SWT has instructed all Muslims to sit with other pious Muslims so that their piety can help us improve.
When you regularly attend the lectures of pious scholars, your heart softens and becomes eager to get closer to Allah SWT.
It automatically starts hating every sin and reduces the urge to watch nudity and immoral content online.
So, if you have a friend who struggles with porn addiction, take them to your local mosque or the lecture of a scholar and ask them to visit regularly.
Tip #5: Understand Their Addiction Triggers
Understanding what triggers porn addiction is one of the most important things in helping someone overcome this bad habit.
People are triggered by different things and circumstances.
Understand their triggers by asking them:
- The most common time when they watch porn
- The device they use to watch porn
- The place where they watch porn
- The thing that most commonly starts the urge to watch porn
For example, some people watch porn on their smartphones when they’re alone in the toilet.
Some people watch it when they’re alone in their bedrooms at night.
Knowing this will help you the factors that usually push them into watching porn.
Tip #6: Set Internet Usage Boundaries
Once you understand their pornography triggers, help them define their internet usage boundaries.
For example, make the simple rule that they cannot:
- Take their smartphone to the toilet under any circumstances.
- Keep the smartphone in their bedroom at night.
- Unnecessarily use social media or smartphones
If they want to use the internet, ask them to do it somewhere others can easily see what they’re doing. It can be the living room of their house, their college library, or any other place people frequently access.
Similarly, ask them to avoid using the internet unless there’s a reason to do it. Random surfing and browsing can often trigger porn addicts and force them to relapse.
Tip #7: Become An Accountability Partner
Finding an accountability partner is critical in recovering from porn addiction. So, encourage your friends or anyone struggling with porn addiction to find an accountability partner.
This partner is someone who knows the addict’s struggles and is willing to help them by
- Reminding them of their internet usage boundaries
- Helping them enforce those boundaries
- Motivating them to keep fighting the urge.
Ideally, this accountability partner should be someone with a close relationship with the addict. It can be a family member, spouse, or close friend.
But anyone who becomes a partner must remember they should not be pushy otherwise, they might end up frustrating the addict and make them relapse.
Tip #8: Set Sobriety Goals
When trying to help someone with porn addiction, your ultimate goal is to heal them forever.
However, to keep them motivated, you must set smaller goals and milestones.
For example, set a daily or weekly goal to not watch porn despite the urge. You can sit with the addict at the end of every week and review their progress as their accountability partner.
Focus on the process of recovery instead of the ultimate goal. For example, assign them goals like:
- Don’t take your smartphone with you to the toilet or bedroom.
- Don’t use the internet in a secluded place.
- Set the max. number of hours they can use the internet.
Track these goals to monitor thier progress and show them how they’re doing.
Tip #9: Celebrate Success
Every time your friend meets a sobriety goal, celebrate their success. The more you celebrate their small achievements, the more motivated they’ll become to stay on course.
Tip #10: Attend Lectures On The Harms Of Porn Addiction
Pornography addiction has numerous medical, psychological, and spiritual effects. It directly impacts a person’s quality of life and relationships.
If you have a friend who struggles with porn addiction, take them to a lecture that outlines the harmful effects of porn.
Show them how this bad habit is ruining their life and what they’re losing by following their urges.
But don’t overdo this.
The goal is not to embarrass them but only to make them realize that addiction is bad for them.
Tip #11: Help Them Get Married
If your porn addict friend is not married yet, help them find a spouse.
Prophet Muhammad ﷺ has urged all Muslims to marry at an early age to satisfy their sexual desires lawfully.
Most young Muslim porn addicts are stuck in this bad habit only because their sexual urges are too hot to handle. By getting married, they can manage their sexual desires in a more fulfilling way.
Tip #12: Help Them Make Their Married Lives More Enjoyable
Unfortunately, many married men and women are also addicted to porn.
If that is the case with someone seeking help from you to overcome porn addiction, tell them to do the following.
- Understand that watching porn makes your spouse look less attractive.
- Porn destroys your relationship with your partner by showing you unrealistic sexual behavior.
- Make their sexual lives spicier by dressing up for each other, staying physically fit, and enjoying their private time with roleplaying and other halal ways.
- Reignite your love for your spouse by intentionally being more expressive about your love, caring more about them, giving them gifts, and spending quality time with them.
- Put the smartphone away when you and your spouse are alone.
Remember, that the more love you express for each other, and the more you prepare for each other, the more you’ll enjoy each other’s company.
Allah SWT has made you husband and wife to enjoy together. So, don’t let this relationship die because of your bad habits.
Tip #13: Set Physical, Financial, Relationship, And Religious Goals
And last, but not least, keep yourself busy in achieving goals.
Our minds need goals to stay motivated.
When you busy yourself with productive life goals in various aspects of your life, you won’t have the time or energy to watch porn.
For example, if you set your health goals and hit the gym regularly, you won’t have the excess energy to waste watching porn.
Similarly, if you have financial or business goals, you’ll be too focused on growing your wealth instead of wasting time on pornography.
So, live an overall active and healthy lifestyle to stay away from the dark moments where your urges take the better of you and force you to watch immoral internet pornography.
Are You Ready To Help Someone With A Porn Addiction?
Remember, porn addiction is more widespread than you think. It is literally everywhere. Every other person is struggling with and looking for help.
So, if a friend, a relative, or anyone comes to you for help, don’t shame them or push them away.
Instead, use the tips I’ve shared to help them overcome this menace and live better lives.
May Allah SWT save all of us from porn addiction.